💬 1. Let’s Talk About Tone, Word Choice, and Timing
Tone is the emotional flavor of your words. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.
➤ It can be supportive 🙌, dismissive 😒, curious 🤔, or aggressive 😠 — often unintentionally.
➤ Your tone is especially important in digital communication (Slack, emails, texts), where body language is missing.
Example:
➤ Neutral: “I noticed the numbers didn’t match up.”
➤ Frustrated: “Why can’t you ever get this right?”
➤ Supportive: “Want to walk through the report together?”
Word Choice is the precision of your message. Choosing clear, non-accusatory language helps people hear you instead of getting defensive.
Replace:
➤ “You never…” → “I’ve noticed this has happened a few times…”
➤ “You don’t care…” → “I’m concerned that this hasn’t been a priority.”
Timing is when you bring something up — and it matters.
➤ Don’t give feedback when emotions are high, at the end of a long day, or in front of others.
➤ Do choose a calm, private moment when the person is receptive.
🕒 Golden Rule: The right message at the wrong time… is still the wrong message.
🎭 2. Role-Play: Giving Feedback Using the SBI Model
SBI = Situation, Behavior, Impact
Use this framework when giving feedback to keep it focused and respectful:
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Situation – When and where did it happen?
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Behavior – What did the person do? Stick to facts.
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Impact – How did it affect you, the team, or the project?
Example (bad):
“You’re always late. It’s so disrespectful.”
Example (SBI):
“In yesterday’s team meeting (S), you arrived 15 minutes late (B), which caused us to restart the agenda and lose momentum (I).”
🎲 Practice Activity – In Pairs or Groups:
Choose a scenario:
➤ A teammate cuts people off in meetings
➤ A coworker sends emails with unclear instructions
➤ A peer doesn’t follow through on tasks
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Practice both a bad version and an SBI version of giving feedback
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Discuss: How did the tone and language change the result?
🔁 3. Swapping Emotional for Professional Language
Let’s flip reactive language into respectful, productive communication:
| Emotional/Harsh Language | Professional/Assertive Alternative |
|---|---|
| “You never listen to me.” | “I feel like my input isn’t being fully heard — can I clarify?” |
| “You’re wrong.” | “I have a different perspective — can I share it?” |
| “You messed everything up.” | “There’s a mistake we need to address together.” |
Mini-Challenge:
Write down one thing you’ve wanted to say recently at work, and rewrite it using professional, calm, and clear language.
🎯 Lesson Takeaway:
You can be direct without being rude.
You can be honest without being hurtful.
Respectful feedback is a superpower. When you communicate clearly and kindly, you become someone others want to work with — and someone they’ll actually listen to.